What is the Day of Hope?

October is Breast Cancer awareness month. This can be a hard month for a lot of people. My mother and best friend from college were diagnosed around the same time. I had just moved back to NY and was faced with the fear of losing my mom. Then a few months later my friends husband encouraged her to go to the Doctor after she found a lump. My mom was in her 60s and Beth was in her 30s.

Both of these women handled it with grace and strength but also in very different ways. My mother emerged her self in learning all she could. She went to support groups, meetings, listen to speakers of what caused it, what can be done about it. She also shared her knowledge with everyone. I think learning more about the monster of breast cancer helped make it less oppressive. It gave it a name and a face.

Beth handled it a little different. She got angry. She got honest. Her posts were very graphic of her treatment and she wrote brutally honest posts of mortality and loss. To me this gave emotions and words to what people felt who had it and gave a insight of what it felt like. She and a group of friends had shirts saying “Fu*ck Cancer” She was mad and Cancer was gonna pay! She went into Warrior mode.

These strong women, were so inspiring! They took on cancer in their own way and everyone felt it. We felt like we were part of their fight. I remember my mother telling someone that it was not always this way. Like so many things in the past Cancer was not talked about. She always said about Beth, “Its not the way I would do it, but its helping her and that’s a good thing” Mom also would tell me what to send Beth in her Care packages, like certain candies, since you lose your taste buds in chemo. Beth would ask about my mom all the time, if she was going through the same treatment. They only met once or twice but I felt that cancer in someway connected them.

My mom would win her battle with breast cancer. She still is a fighter and I see her bond with other women who have gone through it or are going through it. Not just breast cancer but cancer in general. She belongs to a wonderful support group made up of survivors and fighters. She has been healthy and an advocate for fighting breast cancer and breast cancer awareness. I am so proud of her. She did the Day of Hope this year, a local event that brings people together. It turned into a family event with me and a few of my nieces helping out.

Beth, beat it but then the cancer came back. Her and her Husband were getting ready to renew their vows ( I introduced them in college) In the mist of preparing for the renewal, they found that the cancer came back. This time it was spreading though out her body. It was upsetting because her hair had just come back curly and full and I remember her being scared it was gonna all fall out again. They did renew their Vows. It was so beautiful. Her Husband Adam was beaming with love and Beth was stunning. A local park heard her story and let them use the venue for free. She was surrounded by family and friends. There was a video of her and Adam and their two kids. There were photos of Beth and Adam in college. Then there was dancing, a lot of dancing. Every time someone would try to sneak off the dance floor…Beth would pull them back in. She was so alive that night, I will never forget her laughing and just pure happiness of being loved that night. We would lose Beth the following May. Brain Cancer ended up taking her. She was at home surrounded my her Husband and the rest of her family and closest friends. She was fighter up until the last days. Me and our friend Devonne were able to say goodbye. Talking one last time about our college days and having one more laugh and smile from her meant so much.

To me this is why celebrating the Day of Hope is important. You are honoring these amazing women. Women like my mom and Beth. Women who have taken on Breast Cancer and did not let it define them in any way, but let it make it stronger. The Day of Hope is celebrating the Survivors and the ones that did not. To say to the world, they were here and they will always inspire.